


Shortcomings

by Ash_lxy



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Tags May Change, Ursa (Avatar) is a Good Parent
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:07:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24912094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ash_lxy/pseuds/Ash_lxy
Summary: Lately things have not been going well between the royal couple. Firelord duties have been causing Ozai to spend less and less time away from his family. In the meantime, Ursa has been spending time reading in the garden, wandering the palace or the capital city. Her children are older now – young adults – and have found their own paths in life, Ursa’s nest was empty. Her duty as a consort and queen has been fulfilled. She had produced heirs and kept up appearances. But spending years doing that left her with no life of her own. Only recently had something of interest had come into her life. She had met someone around the palace, but never interacted more with them beyond flirting. She liked the attention, as nobody else seemed to notice her nowadays. She was all alone in a palace with hundreds of workers and servants.
Relationships: Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Ozai & Zuko (Avatar), Ozai/Ursa (Avatar), Ursa (Avatar) & Original Character(s), Urzai - Relationship
Comments: 6
Kudos: 43





	1. Seen, Not Heard

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all, this is my first time uploading to Ao3. Its also my first fic. As you'll probably tell by the summary, this deviates from canon. There is no current war going on and I kind of wanted to make a somewhat slice-of-lifey troubled romance where Ozai wasn't a complete asshole (emphasis on complete...he's still kind of an ass) and Ursa was never sent away. I wanted to explore what kind of story I could create out of this dynamic. I tried to stay somewhat true to their characters in terms of how they interact with each other (Zuko still doesn't feel accepted by Ozai, Ozai is still very tough on his children, and Ursa is somewhat of a mediator) except water down their more stronger traits (*cough* Ozai being 100% abusive for example).  
> But anyways, I just wanted to leave a note here letting anyone reading this know where I was coming from! I hope you enjoy the first chapter!

Ursa viewed her reflection as she sat at her rather large vanity. She brushed through her long, dark brown locks like she did every other morning. Typically, a queen would have her servants prepare her for the day but Ursa never became comfortable with the idea. She liked her mornings to herself, not that she was very sociable during the day anyway.

It was not until recent weeks that she had begun to notice very scarce gray strands starting to grow from her roots. They matched her dull, but still visible crows’ feet surrounding the corner of her eyes. Ursa had watched herself grow older as the years passed, but her beauty remained the same as it did when she first arrived at the palace 23 years ago. The only difference was she was a woman now instead of the anxious and homesick girl she once was.

Ursa sighed, still looking herself in the mirror and finally put her hair into a topknot, sliding on her royal headpiece. Upon finishing her look there was a light knock on her chamber doors.

“You may enter.” Ursa said, peering over her shoulder to see who had caught her attention.

Promptly, a young and small framed girl slid through the doors and bowed quite clumsily. It was Unami, a new servant in training. She had not been here more than two weeks but was under the advisement of Ursa’s head servant.

“Your highness” she said, her voice shaky, “the Fire Lord sent me to check to see how you were doing, breakfast has been ready for a while now and –”

“Thank you, Unami.” Ursa cut her off, “Tell my husband I will be there shortly.”

Like always Ozai was showing his impatience. Busier and busier he became as the years had gone on. His schedule always tight by the minute. Ursa wasn’t surprised by this as he was the Fire Lord after all.

“A-As you wish, my lady” a brief look of surprise crossed the girls face as she realized Ursa had remembered her name. She was about to turn and go back down to the dining hall when Ursa spoke again.

“Unami, how old are you?”

“19, Ma’am.” Her eyes pointed towards the ground; her hands clasped together in front of her. She was only a few years younger than Zuko and Azula.

“I figured you were young. You don’t need to be nervous, dear. For the record, I think you’re doing a splendid job so far.” Ursa had quite enjoyed her presence since she arrived. Her being around her own children’s age made Ursa’s nest feel not as empty.

Unami’s eyes lit up, a smile nearly slipped, but she kept her professional composure. “Thank you, your highness. I appreciate your kind words. I look forward to serving you for the foreseeable future.”

Ursa smiled back at the young girl before dismissing her. The girl was quite clumsy, but Ursa could tell she had a good heart. From what she was told Unami had come from a very poor Fire Nation village on one of the smaller islands. Unfortunately, the further away from the mainland a village was, the poorer they were. They tended to be less populated with less available trade. Most families on those islands had to rely on being heavily self-sufficient. Ursa had been lucky that Hira’a had a popular theatre to help stimulate the town’s economy and bring some tourism, even if not much. Although she did not know firsthand the struggles of those who lived on the outer islands, she very much acknowledged how strong its people were in both mind and culture. It is what made her have great hope in girls like Unami. Unlike the other nobles and royalty, Ursa recognized that those from the islands and the working-class villages were the backbone, that ran this nation. It was a shame how overlooked they were in favor for higher military budgets and the expensive, unnecessary royal ceremonies and parties. If it were up to her, things would be different. But she had done her job as consort many years ago, now she was just a figurehead and nothing more.

* * *

The dining table was grossly large in size. It could easily fit 20 individuals around its perimeter as it was intended mostly for grand dinners. Although, very convenient to have, when it was just Ursa and her family it made for a very remote eating experience.

Ursa sat at the end of the table and opposite to her, on the other end was her husband and Fire Lord, Ozai. It seemed as if there was a mile distance in between them. Spread across that seemingly mile were plates of different foods that were popularly found across the Fire Nation. Such dishes included figs, ash bananas, watermelon, Komodo sausage, hot cakes, and rice. Personally, her favorite were the ash bananas, which happened to be similar to yams, another food she was very found of.

Cutting through her hot cake she peered across the table at her husband who had not yet touched his food. He had a powerful presence, one fitting of a ruler. If she had not known him for 22 years she would have been intimidated by his stern look. She observed his face to try and read what he was feeling. His expression was nothing out of the ordinary. His jaw was clenched with furrowed brows, his gaze intensely centered on the dining room doors. Sometimes she wondered if his face had just gotten stuck like that after all these years. It sure seemed like it, a frown was his most common expression.

“Ozai, he’ll be here soon. Please, eat. You have a big day today.” As was every other day.

His facial muscles eased as he looked over towards her, “I’m very much aware that my list of tasks is long. It’s precisely why I expect my son to be on time. As the future Fire Lord, he should know the strict schedule that is expected to be upheld.”

“I’m positive he understands how busy you are.” There was a bit of venom in those words but Ozai did not seem to notice.

“Apparently not.” Ozai spoke lowly, appearing to speak to himself. Ursa sighed in response. It was odd seeing him this worked up over Zuko’s absence, especially for a mere family breakfast.

Thankfully for Ozai’s schedule’s sake it wasn’t long after that that the prince had walked in with his fiancée on his arm. Ursa smiled at the sight of Zuko and Mai. What a handsome couple they turned out to be. She was glad Zuko had chosen a girl such as Mai. Ever since they were children, they seemed to get along well. Of course, Mai could be a little stand-offish, but she had a good head on her shoulders and wanted nothing but the best for Zuko.

“I’m sorry we’re late, father…” Zuko bowed apologetically to, now, an only slightly irritated Ozai. A slight grin formed on his lips as he made eye contact with Ursa, “mother” the sound of his voice lightened as he addressed her.

“You’re lucky I’m in a good mood this morning” said Ozai, finally picking up his fork and knife.

Good mood? I suppose by his standards... Ursa thought.

“Now sit, I need to discuss something with you.” Ozai cut through his meal.

Zuko and Mai sat down next to each other. A heavy silence fell across the room. Not even Ursa was sure what was going through Ozai’s head. He hadn’t mentioned anything to her about anything serious concerning her beloved son. Given the two’s past, she didn’t have high hopes for what was about to come out of her husband’s mouth.

Ursa stiffened in her seat, ready to defend her son. She glanced over at the young couple. She could see Mai’s hand shift over onto Zuko’s, who had his palms firmly placed on his thighs. He didn’t look directly at his father, instead past him as he prepared to be lectured, which was a coping habit he developed over the years.

Eventually Ozai spoke, aware of the tension in the room, “Relax. I only wish to inform you that I will be away for a few days and will need someone to take care of things here in my absence and since you don’t seem to be having anything better to do with you time…” he trailed off.

Zuko didn’t seem to react at first, not fully understanding what his father was getting at. His head was slightly tilted, looking at Ozai as if he had just spoken a different language.

“Zuko?” Mai spoke up after a short moment of silence. Ursa let out a breath of relief.

The Fire Nation prince eventually put two and two together, “A-are…are you asking me to be take your place while you’re gone? Overtake the duties…of the Fire Lord?” his eyes were wide, and his words were slow as if he were still processing what that meant.

Ozai scoffed, “Please have some dignity and don’t act so surprised that this is asked of you. Becoming the Fire Lord is your duty as first born – although I didn’t always feel you’d make it” Of course Ozai couldn’t help but make a snarky remark, “— but you’re here now, and I must admit you’ve improved tremendously since you were young. I find you fit of the role of regent while I am attending to other business”

Ursa watched as Zuko stood from his seat immediately, putting his palm and first together as he bowed and facing the one man of whom he’d been seeking approval from his whole life “Thank you, father. I won’t let you down.” He remained in a bowed position until the Fire Lord had spoken again.

“For your sake, I hope not.” Said Ozai, continuing eating his breakfast.

Ursa smiled to herself. She was extremely happy for her son. She knew what this meant to Zuko. The relationship between him and his father was terribly fractured and always had been. She was sure it had affected Zuko far more than it did Ozai. His father had a back up and made it well known to Zuko that his place in line wasn’t secured, by any means. Azula’s existence alone caused constant anxiety within him. It wasn’t just a competition for his place as Fire Lord, it was also a competition for his father’s love, respect, and attention. It was a match he had been losing most of his life. But Ursa made sure she made up for it with her own affection. However, it seemed now, even as unamused as the Fire Lord had sounded, that Zuko had won some points in his book.

“So, kids. How have your travels been? It’s been a while since we’ve seen you around the capital. I don’t think you’ve been around since you announced your engagement” Ursa chimed, changing the subject. She expected Zuko to later find her and discuss his role as acting Fire Lord. Honing too much on it in front of Ozai wasn’t the best of ideas.

Surprisingly, it was Mai who first spoke, “Wonderful, your highness. We stayed at some beach houses on the shores of the Earth Nation. They’re nothing like Ember Island, but they made do.”  
Ursa let out a soft chuckle, “You don’t need to address me so formally, Mai. You may call me mother if you wish. We are about to be family after all. Soon you too will be princess.”

Mai nodded in agreement, not being one for many words.

Ursa couldn’t help but see the resemblance Zuko and Mai posed to herself and Ozai when they were younger. Of course, she did not have jet black hair like Mai, but the length and style were true to how Ursa would shape hers. Zuko, on the other hand, had grown up to be a mirror of his father. After entering his adulthood Zuko had gained quite a bit of muscle as well as height. He filled out his royal dressings well.

Inside her, Ursa began to remember how times were between her and Ozai before the children had come along. It wasn’t an easy beginning; most arrange marriages weren’t. It took a while for her to get used to her new life – not that she had come to every fully enjoy it – but things got easier. She felt relief that Zuko was able to find someone he truly loved, avoiding having someone chosen for him due to a need for an heir.

“Your majesty.” One of Ozai’s servants spoke up.

The Fire Lord looked over, “What is it?”

“Your first meeting of the day is about to start. I just wanted to inform you the council is already beginning to gather outside of the war room.”

“I will be there momentarily. Tell the old men to be patient.” Ozai pushed his chair back and stood up, leaving a picked-at plate of food in front of him. He looked towards his accompanying guards who immediately stood at attention, walking forward and ready to follow him. “Be sure that my son and his fiancée have every need attended to without delay. They may be guests at the moment, but my son is still is your prince.” Ozai announced to any servant that could hear.

“Good luck at your meeting, father” Zuko let out before Ozai walked any further towards the doors that lead to the hall. The Fire Lord stopped for a brief moment, acknowledging the prince before advancing once again. Soon he was gone, off to talk about whatever policies were on the agenda.

“Mai and I should be going too”

Ursa raised a brow at her son’s sudden wish for departure.

“We’re going to the coast to catch a ferry. There’s news of flying dolphin fish being spotted out east. They offered us a private boat out there, plus Mai’s never seen them before.” Zuko said. “Would you like to join us, mother?”

Ursa put her hand up in protest “Maybe some other time, you two kids go have fun. I have some reading to catch up on. I’m almost finished with that book you gifted me last month.” She lied. She had finished the book about two weeks ago.

There was a slight bit a disappointment that crossed Zuko’s face, but it quickly lightened up, “Alright. We’ll take a rain check.” He smiled widely, “But I’ll make sure we’re back here by dinner.”

The three said goodbyes before going their separate ways. It was true she found herself bored most of the time, but she didn’t wish to intrude on their fun. Besides, lunch would not be prepared for a few more hours which left her time to catch up with a new friend she had made.


	2. The Playwright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ursa spends the remainder of her morning with a friend and mentee she has been helping over the course of about a year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After my first attempt at writing chapter 2 and just not feeling it, I ended up pushing this scene forward. And let me tell ya, I had a really fun time writing this chapter. I think its an improvement on chapter 1 when I feel like I rushed just because I wanted to get *Something* out there, but chapter 2 turned out really good in my opinion. It involves two original characters who I really ended up enjoying writing. Hopefully you all enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it!

** Chapter 2 **

After the young couple had left and Ozai had gone to attend to his daily meetings, Ursa made her way towards the royal library. It was sectioned off by itself in far in the opposite direction of where she’d just been. It was fairly new considering every other room was centuries old. None of the previous Fire Lords had been very fond of straying from tradition. They very much all had a ‘ _don’t fix it if it’s not broken_ ’ mentality. Ozai had broken that silly trend. In fact, the library had been a wedding gift. He had it modeled after a place out in the desert of the Earth Kingdom called Wan Shi Ton’s Library but on a much smaller scale. Ursa had wanted to visit it at the time but from what she heard from the late General Zhao, it had been victim to a massive sink hole, impossible to ever step foot in again.

Soon Ursa arrived at the library, the phrase “to my beloved” written out in gold characters on a plague above the entrance. Beyond its grand wooden doors was a literary sanctuary. It’s inspiration from Wan Shi Ton’s library was evident in its architecture. The only thing really different was instead of the spirit’s face, the Fire Nation insignia was carved into the stone columns and walls. Looking up there were two other floors filled with a sea of shelves containing scrolls and books… knowledge and stories it would take Ursa three lifetimes to get through.

The height of the shelves was intimidating, making her feel like the size of a squirrel toad but she never got lost. By now she had the entire layout memorized, eventually finding herself at the librarian’s desk. A thin bridge over an indoor koi pond separating her and the desk. She crossed it as she did many times before and raised her hand to tap the bronze bell that sat on the ledge.

“Your highness!” an older, very short man, poked his head around the corner of one of the gigantic rows before she could ring the bell. He bowed his head, “however may I server you today?”

Ursa placed her hands back together in front of her, the long arms to her robe shutting like a curtain, “Good morning, Mr. Daju!” She smiled politely, “I was just seeing if Toza was around. He was about to show me something yesterday, but I had to leave early as my son arrived in the capital last night.”

The old man raised his eyebrows, “Prince Zuko’s returned?” he came out from behind the shelves.

“Yes and he’s engaged to the daughter of Governor Unami and his wife Michi.”

Daju smiled in remembrance, “I recall many times when I had to shush those two for trying to play hide-and-seek in the library. It always started off quiet until the young prince would get frustrated at losing. His tantrums always made me nervous…for obvious reasons.” His eyes glanced over to the hundreds if not thousands of very flammable scrolls surrounding them.

Ursa rested her hand on her chin, “That sounds like my Zuko…very sweet and sour, but mostly very sweet.” She said, thinking back to the many times she had to calm the young boy down. Her poor son was and always has been extremely rough on himself. The title of Fire Nation Prince came with a heavy burden of expectations and the ever-chasing desire for perfection and never failure. It had made even the simplest child games as competitive as war.

“Very much indeed, my Fire Lady. You raised a very fine young man.” Daju’s words were genuine.

“Thank you.” Replied Ursa.

It was in the next moment that they heard hurrying footsteps. They grew louder as the source had come closer. Ursa looked to its origin to see Toza rushing into the common area towards the librarian’s desk. His jaw length wavy black hair looked like a bird nest, the usually shaven areas surrounding his light goatee were overtaken by more visible stubble. Under his eyes, his fire nation pale skin was grey with exhaustion. He had barely noticed Ursa as he ran past, scrolls nearly falling out of the satchel he wore on his hip.

“Toza!” Daju exclaimed sternly, his brows furrowed.

The man stopped in his tracks to turn towards his superior, “I’m sorry Mr. Daju. I overslept. It’s usually not like me, if you want, I’ll stay later if you need me to make up for the time. If you want me to, I’ll do inventory, I know how much you hate that. I’ll even –” Toza’s words ran off the tip of his tongue quickly. His breath was jagged in between sentences as he tried to catch his breath.

“Do you realize who you’ve just flown past, boy?” He gestured towards Ursa, who stood there in a bit of surprise, not having seen Daju raise his voice since Zuko’s younger days.

As Toza made direct eye contact with Ursa, his eyes widened instantly. In the same motion he dropped to his knees, his forehead immediately touching the back of his palms which were positioned flat on the floor. A few scrolls had escaped from his pouch. “Your Majesty! Please accept my deepest apologies. I was rushing and hadn’t noticed you standing there!”

Ursa let out an audible giggle. Some would find it odd… but he and her weren’t so formal, so seeing him bowing on the ground was quite the sight. She walked up and slowly bent down to where Toza’s head was still cemented to the back of his hands. She put a light hand on his shoulder.

“No need for apologies. Do you know how many times I’ve forgotten my formalities when I first arrived at the palace? I’m pretty sure I’ve insulted at least one person from each noble family at least once.” Her smile was soft as it always were.

Toza straightened himself out and rubbed the back of his neck, “Still, I have the upmost respect for you Ur-My lady. I would like to display that at every opportunity possible.” Daju narrowed his eyes at Toza’s slip up but decided to let it pass as it seemed not to bother the Fire Lord’s wife.

“I appreciate that, Toza. Now stand.” She helped grabbed some of the scrolls that had started rolling away from them. Her helpfulness was well known around the castle, earning her the label of being down-to-earth. It was often a breath of relief for the servants who were usually faced with harsh words, a dismissal, or even punishment in the face of their mistakes.

They gathered the scrolls together and stood up.

“May I borrow Toza for a while? If you don’t need him that is.” Ursa asked.

“Don’t worry about me, I was running this library since before he reached puberty.” Daju’s hardened face lightened up as he continued what he had been doing before Ursa’s arrival.

“Thank you, I’ll try not to keep him too long.”

Ursa and Toza went up the wide stairs to the second floor. They went to the usual spot they had been meeting at the last few months. There was a private wing of tables cornered by two different rows of books. Toza took the scrolls out from his bag, purposefully this time, and laid them out on the table. They sat across from one another as he organized his belongings.

“I’m glad you came to see me so early. I was up all night trying to write this scene. I don’t have all the logistics down, but it would have drove me crazy waiting any longer for input.” He unrolled one scrolls to reveal a very sloppy script. The little notes he had written himself and the edits here and there covered the page along with his actual story. “I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to join me until later.”

“It’s of no inconvenience. There was a change of plans. Breakfast had ended a bit prematurely; the Fire Lord had his meeting and my son decided to take his fiancée out on a ferry ride.” She said as she reached over to flip the scroll to an angle where she could view it.

He stuck out his hand and laid it on top of hers, grabbing her attention. When she looked up at him, she saw a wide goofy grin on his face “Well, I’m glad you came still! You know I value your opinions more than anyone else’s. I mean…you’re an ex-actress. All the actors and directors I’ve tried to reach out to in the city won’t even glance at me let alone my work.” He briefly looked down at his messy scroll, taking a pause in his sentence, “But if I can just _perfect it_ , they’ll regret treating me like some peasant from the colonies because you know what? None of _them_ will be the star in my play!” His eyes were full of optimism.

“And I hope you’ll be reserving special seats for your queen.” Ursa said jokingly, mocking how pompous other important figures spoke.

“Of course, m’lady” Toza had puffed out his chest and put his fist over his heart, impersonating a soldier.

They both laughed. Ursa felt a relief of pent up tension. She needed a good laugh. The sweet reminder of her old days as an actress had also lifted her spirits. She knew she could never go back to her home village but helping Toza brought back memories and feelings of a great time in her life.

“So, this is the scene you’ve been avoiding sleep for?” Ursa said, scanning the scroll’s contents.

He placed his elbow on the table and rested the side of his head in his palm, “Yeah, I finally finished it. I think. I just wanted your opinion, of course.”

She took in the scene as she read it. The way he strung together each character’s words were elegant. He set the scene so seamlessly and with such fruitful description she felt as though she could imagine really being in this world that he had developed. There was no denying his talent. All he needed was a foot in the door.

“I love it. Its beautiful, professional. I could see this on the stage one day.” She saw his face glow with excitement as she formed the words.

“Really?!” He sat up joyfully. He looked like a child who’d just scored the winning spike in a game of kuai ball. He no longer looked exhausted. His usual perkiness was back. “Can I ask you something then?”

Ursa raised a brow, “Yes?”

A singular corner of this mouth stretched towards his ear, he looked her directly in her eyes. She could have sworn she seen a lantern flicker on over his head. He gave her a look so optimistic whatever he had to say was going to be hard to say no to. It was almost like when Zuko would ask to stay up past his bedtime so that he could show off the fire-bending moves he had learned earlier in the day. There was no way she was going to able to – her thought cut off.

“Would you like to play the female lead?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just a quick fun fact if anyone was wondering. I kind of took inspiration for Toza's optimism, clumsiness, and facial expressions (at least for how I imagined them in my head) from Haikyuu!'s Hinata Shouyo. His determination is taken from pretty much any Shonen MC you can name. Daju on the other hand kind is sort of old-school fire nation (hopefully that kind of showed with how much values respecting the royals) as a kind of contrast to Toza's youth and playfulness. 
> 
> But anyway, I don't know when I'll have a chapter 3 posted. It probably won't be as quick as I had 2 up, but I'm working on what to include in the next chapter as right now I'm kind of going with the flow of things. I hope the chapters don't flow too quickly, I lose tract of how long a chapter feels after I've been writing it for so long but this chapter seemed fine, but let me know! And thank you for reading! Comments/feedback and kudos are much appreciated! :)


	3. Fire Lilies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Flashback] After being told he was to be arranged to marry a woman named Ursa, Ozai travels to Hira'a undercover to scope out the woman he is to marry. He finds himself not only discovering who his future wife is, but also a different part of himself entirely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this is a long one. Sorry about that! But I just wanted to do a flash back to when the royal couple first met as to establish where their relationship began to be able to later on explore where it went, why it got that way, and why certain characters are making the decisions they're making in present day.

Ozai lifted his wine glass to his lips as he peered over the crowd of heads all staring up at the amateur wooden stage. He watched as people congregated, talked, laughed among each other. Some were quite focused on the play being acted out while others were using it more as reason to socialize. He was leaned up against a wooden pillar on the outskirts of the town square. The plaza was packed so he decided it’d be best for him to stay back near a food stand as he watched his target.

His target was a tall and thin woman with long dark brown hair. She stood to stage left in a costume that was clearly trying to imitate that of a royal naval soldier's. He had to admit she wore it well, but she didn’t have the fire in her eye that warriors who had earned that uniform had, that _look_ that all fire benders had.

Prior to his voyage, his father had warned him that she would not be a bender. In some ways that made things easier, but he couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed. He was hoping she wouldn’t have been weak.

 _Ursa_.

He remembered the first time Fire Lord Azulon had mentioned that name. The geezer had gone on a half hour spiel about how she was the granddaughter of Avatar Roku and something about combining their genes to make powerful heirs. If Ozai was honest he had tuned his father out in the first 10 minutes. He was sick about hearing the old man’s blabber describing using his own son as a science experiment. As far as he cared this trip was a vacation away from the palace. It was no Ember Island but Hira’a would do… anything to get him away from his father’s constant scrutiny.

That old man was a fool if he thought Ozai would willingly agree to marry a complete stranger, especially such a young girl. She was 21 while Ozai was nearing 30. At the time he had protested this, questioning what he could possibly have in common with someone so much his junior. Of course, his stubbornness had come back to bite him. He could still feel the healing burn on his back. It was a common consequence of questioning his father’s authority. It definitely wasn’t the first and was probably not the last. In all honesty he would probably celebrate the day that man took his last breath.

Ozai was snapped out of his thoughts as the crowd roared with applause and cheers. To fit in, he clapped along with them. The show was over, and it was time for him to meet his soon-to-be wife.

As Ozai made his way through the crowd the stenches of cheap beer and farm animals filled his nose. To his annoyance, he had to squeeze himself between bodies that wouldn’t budge. On a normal day, this crowd would part for him like the moon spirits Tui and La could part the sea. If only these peasants knew who he was, they’d be on their knees begging for his forgiveness for even getting within a 6-foot radiance of him. The thought made Ozai smirk, but he quickly refocused to the objective at hand.

Finally, he was found himself standing at a tent dedicated for the stage crew and cast. The security was incredibly low, and he was easily able to slip in without a question. He was sure that his cover had helped. He wasn’t dressed in his royal garments that normally would have stirred up a frenzy around him. For this trip he had abandoned them in order to study his potential bride. In trade, he was wearing a simple shirt with a vest, as was common among the villagers. Right now, he couldn’t be the prince of the Fire Nation. He had to be able to get up close and figure out what she was truly like…if she were worthy of being a royal consort and of his respect. He didn’t have time to cipher through phony formal conversation, knowing his title would drastically change how she presented herself in front of him.

Once inside the tent everything backstage was chaos. He imagined this is what it looked like behind the scenes back home. There were people running around back and forth, costumes in hand, and props being cleaned up. As one of the staff passed, Ozai grabbed him by the shoulder, halting him immediately.

“Hey! Hands off, buddy!” The stocky staff member drew back, but the prince kept his hold.

“I need you to tell me where the actress Ursa’s dressing room is, immediately.”

The man sighed. “Another freakin’ creep fan…” he said under his breath.

His unwillingness sparked anger in Ozai. “Bite your tongue! Do you know who I am?!” he said as he heated the palm of his hand, causing the staff member to groan in pain as he dropped to his knees. A few other people looked in passing but decided it was best not the intervene.

“I’m sorry! I— I don’t know…we always get crazed fans back here…Ursa is very popular…” He said in between pained breaths, cupping his shoulder.

“Well now you know you were gravely mistaken. Now tell me where I can find her.” His voice impatient, not wanting to miss her and go through the trouble of tracking her down once again.

The disgruntled staff pointed behind them at a section of red curtains a short way away, “There, the curtain right of that vase. Just make sure to announce yourself. We usually don’t let men near the women’s changing rooms, but you’re obviously an exception…for whatever reason.” He shot the Fire Prince a look.

Ozai could add a second burn for just the attitude in his voice but he didn’t feel like wasting any more time or drawing more attention to himself. Without saying a word, Ozai left the man on the floor still nursing his injury. He saw a few female staff come to his assistance upon Ozai’s immediately absence. Within a few footsteps he arrived at her station. He paused for a moment as he felt an odd, rapid pounding feeling in his chest. He put it down to his recent confrontation and shook it off. He straightened himself out and knocked on the false wall holding up the clothed screen.

“Yes?” a perky voice answered loudly over the noise filling the rest of the tent. It didn’t help that there was ear blasting music outside of the tent assisting in drowning out her voice even more.

Ozai found himself hesitating but eventually strung his words together, “This is Ursa’s room, correct?”

“Sorry it’s hard to hear! Come again?”

“Does this room belong to Ursa!?” He repeated, louder.

“I can’t hear you, sorry! Just come in, I don’t mind!” She invited.

As he was about to enter, he happened to glance at a vase of fire lilies, remembering the staff member pointing them out. He decided to grab it before parting the curtain open just enough to let himself in. The second he was in the room his eyes immediately caught sight of Ursa. She was only in a thin, white silk robe that hugged her waist, hips, and bust. Apparently Ozai was not the person she expected when she met his gaze.

“Spirits!” her voice pitched higher as she scrambled to find something more modest.

“Apologies, I thought you’d be – “

“Turn around!” The young actress’s cheeks became florid in contrast to the rest of her fair skin.

Without thinking he followed her orders until she eventually covered herself in something resembling a thick bath robe, “I apologize, Miss. I didn’t expect you to be…unpresentable.” He could feel his face flush, condemning himself for being so stupid. _Obviously, she was undressed, it’s a changing room!_ He beat himself up over it in his mind.

“I thought you were my costar! I could have security throw you out or even turn you into the police for intruding!” Ozai remembered back to the other young man that had been on stage with her. He hadn’t been paying attention to most of the play, but he could recall at least that.

“You let your male costar see you like that?” He questioned, ignoring her other threats. It was a bit unbecoming of a young woman to let anyone other than her husband views her in such a manner, but Ozai dismissed it as village values had always strayed from that of the capital’s where the view of the world was much more conservative. He hoped he was right though and that it wasn’t a habit he’d have to worry about later on. But he still couldn’t help but question if that suggested something more between the two performers. The thought made him feel uneasy.

“We’ve known each other since we were 3, he’s practically my brother.” She said and quickly followed up with, “But that’s none of your business. Now what do you want me to sign? I swear it seems like I deal with at least one creepy guy almost every show nowadays.” Her tone was fierce. Something about such a sweet voice dipping their sentences in venom sent chills through Ozai. But what was it with these people and perverts? Were they really that prominent among commoners? It boggled him.

“Again, I apologize. I meant no form of disrespect.” How amusing, he would have never seen himself apologizing to anyone besides his father before this moment, “And no, I don’t have anything for you to sign. It’s just my few days in town and I heard there was a splendid upcoming actress to be performing at tonight’s fire lily festival…I was stunned so I brought these to congratulate your performance.” He presented her the vase.

Ursa’s mood lightened as she took it from him, “They’ve very beautiful thank you….” She trailed off as she seemed to be trying to recall him sharing his name.

“Sozin” He lied, “I was named after the greatest Fire Lord...” he paused, “If it wasn’t obvious, I come from a military family, hence the name.” His explanation was a grand understatement.

Ursa put a hand on her hip, examining him. “Not surprised, I can tell. You talk like you’re always in a war meeting or something. Are you a solider?” she inquired.

Ozai rubbed the back of his neck as he felt himself becoming a bit coy, “…not exactly…. well not _yet_ I mean.” In his mind the word solider was a replacement for ‘Fire Lord’. 

“Interesting. We don’t get a lot of soldiers through here. There’s not much for them to do, it’s a pretty quiet town, besides on nights like these.”

“I was traveling and like I said, I heard about the show. Every person I asked mentioned your name and you seemed to get a lot of praise.” He lied, knowing the true reason he was here. “Theater has always been an interest of mine, and I wanted to get to know this amazing woman I kept hearing about.”

Again, Ursa’s face reddened, but she kept her skepticism “You went out of your way just to come see _me_?”

Ozai nodded. Ursa took a moment and examined him. Her eyes drifted from his well-kept top knot that held in his rather short hair – something he had to cut if he were ever to go undercover – to his clean, modern clothing. She was examining him like he would if he were deciding if a new associate would turn out to be an enemy later on. Eventually she seemed to determine he was, at the very least, alright.

He saw her glance at a clock on the wall before looking back at him, “You sound pretty interesting, would you like to continue this conversation after I finish dressing down? We don’t get a lot of tourism around here, so it’s always the same faces…there’s a tea shop nearby if that’s your kind of thing.”

He was somewhat annoyed that she had beaten him to the question, but he accepted her offer. “I wouldn’t mind that at all.”

“Alright, then it’s a date. I’ll meet you there in a half hour, okay?” A grin crept onto her face and Ozai couldn’t stop himself from returning a small smile back. So far so good. Things were on tract.

* * *

_How long can it possibly take to take off make up and put a new outfit on?_ Ozai questioned.

He paced outside the tea shop she had given him directions to. It was almost past midnight and there was no sign of her. Maybe she was a greater actress than he anticipated, feigning her interest in him, and forcing him to make a mockery of himself. The thought of that made him want to burn the entire village to the ground. It would be a fire festival gone wrong; he would tell his father. He can’t deny that he hadn’t thought about the idea several times in the past forty minutes. This wasn’t something he was used to. Under any normal circumstance his guest would already be here and if they were late, he’d have grounds to release them from their position, but what was he to do? Release Ursa from the position of being his future-arranged-wife-to-be that she had no idea she even held the role of? Was this something to take note of? Were her manners this bad that she’d have someone waiting over an hour on her? He was not her council that she could inconvenience as she pleases!

 _But she doesn’t owe you anything_ , his own voiced ringed in his head. He supposed that was true. As far as she knew he was just a guy who barged in on her when she was changing. He couldn’t blame her for not rushing to be within his presence. He was not a prince here.

Ozai had ended up waiting another 15 minutes before she arrived. It had gotten significantly cooler since the fire pits from the festival had been blown out. He sat at a table outside of the tea shop and had intimidated the owner into staying open for however long it took. Any regret he had about waiting was extinguished when he laid sights on Ursa. Contrast to when he first intruded on her, she wore a light layer of make up and her hair was neatly brushed. The dress she wore made Ozai feel incredibly, embarrassingly underdressed. It was a pale red, bordering on pink. The material was fitted to her upper body while the lower half flowed freely, giving her more of an hour-glass look. The collar necklace she wore was the same color gold to match her large wrap shawl, the shade of gold was the same widely used across the Fire Nation. Seeing her in her nation’s colors gave him a pleasant idea of what she’d look like in royal robes.

“You’re still here.” Ursa said, her eyebrows raised at Ozai who was sitting at a small two-person table outside the entrance.

“And you’ve finally blessed me with your presence.”

Ursa’s gaze dropped to her feet. _Dumbass,_ he cursed himself.

“No, I’m serious. I’m glad you came” He explained further, knowing it was nothing more than him saving his own ass.

Her spirits seemed to lift, “Thank you, I shouldn’t have kept you waiting so long…stuff came up and things got really hectic.” She sat down, tucking the her back of her dress under her legs.

Ozai smiled, “It’s nothing to be worried about. I can’t imagine how long it takes to get so dressed up, especially without servants.” He eyed up her beauty once again.

“Well I’ve never had servants. It’s just been me and my parents for my whole life. Even if we did have the money to afford servants, I like my privacy. Something about doing your own hair and make-up is relaxing to me.” She said. Ozai was sure he’d be able to arrange that back home. The handmaidens wouldn’t protest to a few extra moments of sleep before attending to the princess.

“What about you, Sozin? I’m sure with a military family, you’d at least have a few.” She continued.

He shrugged, “Yes, I suppose you could say that.” _Try at least a hundred_.

Once noticing Ozai and Ursa sitting at the table the shop owner took their orders. He didn’t even look at Ozai, but Ozai could tell he was reluctant to serve them. During their wait Ursa prodded Ozai for details about his vast travels. He spoke of Ba Sing Se, the North Pole, seeing the newly put up Great Gates of Azulon, the dangerous Serpent’s Pass, and the library out in the Si Wong desert which she had particularly taken an interest in. These visits had all been strictly military business but knew enough about the surrounding areas from his older brother’s in-depth letters home to keep up the conversation going. Ursa seemed to be mesmerized by the stories he told as with each new one she inched forward in her seat.

“So, tell me Ursa, what is it like being actress? I’m sure you too have traveled the world.” Ozai inquired as he took a sip of tea, becoming tired of talking about himself.

Suddenly Ursa shifted uncomfortably, having now sit up in her seat. She cleared her voice, “Well…actually I’ve never left Hira’a.”

“Really? Surely that can’t be true. You’ve been an actress for 3 years now, you must have directors fighting to get you on their roster”

Ursa lightly bit her lower lip, “Not really…I’m not that good at all it seems…” Ozai thought he could see her eyes become watery, but with the dim lighting of the nearby lanterns he couldn’t tell. He chose to ignore it.

“You shouldn’t speak of yourself like that. Pitying yourself will never get you anywhere.” He knew this firsthand. There was a handful of things that he could have used as a reason to feel sorry for himself. Being born the second son of the Fire Lord was synonymous with being irrelevant in both a political sense and familial sense, but never did Ozai think the solution was to let his circumstances dictate his destiny.

She blinked away any moisture from her eyes and looked at Ozai, surprised at how direct he’d been. She opened her mouth slightly, about to protest his statement but decided against it. She took a sip of her tea, “I suppose so…”

“Its something my father would tell me anytime I cried when I was younger,” Ozai said.

“Your _father_ said that to you?” Ursa asked, concerned.

“He had a harsh way of dealing with childhood tantrums, but it made me who I am.”

“And who do you think you are?” She questioned further.

“Someone who doesn’t get stepped on, someone who doesn’t falter. Someone who will do anything in his power to achieve whatever he desires.”

“You don’t hide that you come from a military family very much, do you?” She teased.

“Why would I? Serving the Fire Nation is the most honorable duty someone could take on.”

“Interesting” she replied.

Ozai squinted, unsure of what her underlying message was. “What? Do you not believe that?”

She finished up the rest of her tea and put the cup back down on the table, “It’s honorable, brave even…but I just don’t have the same bravado you do. Hira’a never sees a lot of military presence, so we’re kind of detached from all that stuff – or at least I am.”

He looked at her curiously, He never thought of life outside of the palace or politics. Ozai was born as an insurance policy if anything were to happen to Iroh. His own birth had been a political move by Azulon and from that moment its all he’s ever known.

Taking in her words, a thought sprung into this mind, “What are your thoughts on the younger prince, from what you’ve heard of course.”

Ursa paused for a moment to think, “I heard he’s very handsome, a bit more hot-headed than his older brother, but strong in mind. To me he doesn’t seem very happy though. I don’t see how he could be; the Fire Lord barely speaks about him…which is why I know so little, it’s almost like Prince Iroh is his only son.”

Ozai gritted his teeth at her last observation. She wasn’t wrong but hearing it from someone else other than his own thoughts had hurt. He was at least glad that he wasn’t crazy – that his father’s obsession with Iroh was not just a figure of his imagination.

“That does seem so.” Were the only words he had.

Their conversation went quiet for a bit as they finished their drinks. It was late and she had looked exhausted. So as any gentleman would, he offered to walk her home. During their walk she continued her own quietness, but Ozai couldn’t tell if she was tired or if something was wrong. Maybe hormonal? He knew nothing of women outside of the dramatized stories his older brother, Iroh, would boast about through letters when he was a young bachelor. Now that he thought of it, Ursa was the first woman he was ever interested in courting. Most of his time at the palace consisted of training, sitting in on meetings, and studying military strategies. He never thought of romance ever benefitting him, but he needed an heir if he were to ever one day even be considered for Fire Lord. And Ursa was his best chance at that.

It was only about a 10-minute walk from the tea shop to Ursa’s family home. All the lights were off besides the street lanterns illuminating her front porch. His hand was warm from holding hers. His palms were hard and covered in calluses. It was vastly different to hers that felt perfectly preserved, untouched by combat and fire. She now stood in front of him.

“You live here with your parents?” Ozai said, observing the house. It couldn’t have had any more than 2 bedrooms. He didn’t think he’d ever been in a house this small.

“Yeah, my whole life. This porch was my first stage. I remember performing in front of my grandparents. They were my biggest supporters, besides my parents at least.”

“Well, hopefully I’ll be seeing you on the real stage soon. I’m looking forward to the next play – whenever that is – I’ll be in town for a while so maybe I’ll catch another show.”

Ursa’s mood seemed to drop. Ozai wondered what he had said this time. “There actually won’t be any more shows. They announced the group is breaking up.” She said solemnly, the moisture returning to her eyes.

“What do you mean?” He questioned.

Her voice became tight as she was trying so hard to keep it together, “My costar…Ikem…was approached by another acting group in Ba Sing Se. He’ll be moving there by the end of this week.”

“What does that have to do with the group? Can’t they continue?”

This time a few tears began to roll down her cheek. Ozai immediately tensed up, not knowing how to deal with someone crying in his presence. “No. It’s a lot of things. We’ve been struggling to recruit new actors these past few years and now we’re losing our star. The director said he found this to be a good way to retire anyway…so they’re just ending it, ending everything.”

“Why not just travel to Ba Sing Se too and demand a part? If they saw him, they must’ve seen you as well.”

She frowned, “You don’t get it. I can’t demand a part. It’s impossible. The people that recruited Ikem was a male-only acting group…I’m happy for him though, but I don’t know what’s next for me.” She was unable to hold back the tears she had so desperately been fighting, “There’s nothing left for me…I put everything into being an actress and I couldn’t even get one scout to notice me. Not a single one.”

Ozai had never seen such a sad face. It looked as if she were mourning. He couldn’t put himself entirely in her shoes, but he knew what it felt like to feel like he’d forever be chasing an unattainable goal. Except there was one difference, she was must closer to her dream than he was his.

“Ursa.” He said, “Please, look at me.”

As soon as he said the words her teary eyes met him. He lifted a hand to her face and wiped away her stray tears with his thumb, moving it across her cheek as he continued to then tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “I want you to listen to me, carefully.” They didn’t break eye contact, “Don’t speak of yourself as such. I’ve said it before, but I will say it kindlier now…feeling sorry for yourself will not make your dreams come true. Only your actions will do that, and I know you are not a weak girl. Don’t waste your tears on Ba Sing Se, they’re old fools who have backwards ways of thinking. If they put their tradition before allowing themselves to see true talent, then that is their loss. Please do not doubt yourself.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead.

As he lifted his lips from her forehead, Ursa plunged herself into his chest and wrapped her arms around him tightly. He paused before hugging her back. She was warm to touch and felt fragile between his muscular arms. He wondered if he squeezed if he would break her. Maybe there was more to this woman than being another one of the Fire Lord’s political strategies. He was surprised he had begun to care for this woman as he did, even if it was just after a night of knowing her. She wasn’t like anyone he’s ever met before. She was humble, kind, laughed like she was the freest person on the planet. She was so foreign to him, he didn’t understand her, but he wanted to.

Without realizing it he found his lips brushing against hers. He was so caught up in his own thoughts he hadn’t realized he had pulled her back and kissed her. He opened his eyes mid kiss to see her staring up at him. As he lifted his mouth from hers, she pulled back. Her eyes were wide, her mouth left agape and her cheeks flushed. He has even surprised himself.

“Ursa I’m –" He was about to apologize for being so brazen with his actions.

“Sozin.” She put her one hand on hard chest and one on his shoulder, “It’s ok…Thank you.” She stood on her tiptoes so that she could reach his cheek, leaving a small peck, “I had a great night, but I don’t know how I feel about this right now. I’ve had a lot of feelings today and I’m vulnerable, I’m sorry”

Ozai lowered his head, “I understand.”

Those were the last words they exchanged before she headed inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys like it! As always, kudos, feedback, and all the other stuff is highly appreciated! :)


	4. Anxieties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter of Zuko reflecting to Ursa about his feelings on becoming stand-in Fire Lord.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you guys like the flash back last chapter? There'll definitely be more of those but for now I just wanted to add a scene so I could update this fic while planning what's to come. Hope you like it! Comments and Kudos appreciated :)

Throughout the day the skies had been clear but as soon as evening began to fall the skies had clouded and droplets of rain had started falling, making it darker than it normally would at that time. Ursa kept looking up from her book to peer out the window, getting lost in thought as she watched the lanterns filling the courtyard with light flicker. No matter what she did she felt distracted and found herself reading the same paragraph over and over, unable to detract her mind away from the conversation she had with Toza that morning.

She hadn’t turned him down exactly, but she had simply told him she needed to think about it. Of course, Toza being Toza, he took no offense and told her to take her time. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to…it was certainly an intriguing offer, but it wasn’t something she had done in a very long time. Not to mention the thought of bringing up the topic with Ozai had left her with knots in her stomach. Would he think she was silly for trying to live out a dream that had died years ago? Would he even allow it seeing as it was unprecedented for a Fire Lady to partake in such events? The list of anxieties felt endless.

Once more Ursa looked up from her book but this time at the sound of footsteps coming down the hall and towards the lounge. As the figure entered the doorway, she got a peak of fluffy black hair accompanied by her son’s distinguished face.

“Zuko, what are you doing here so late?” She questioned. He was dressed in his fire-bending uniform with a towel draped over his shoulder, “Isn’t it a bit late to be practicing?”

He looked towards her as of he hadn’t noticed her sitting there in the first place, “Mom? Sorry, I didn’t know you’d be here. I figured you’d still be at dinner.”

“Your father’s last meeting ran late so I had them just bring it to me in here.” She glanced over at the empty tray on the end table next to the set of couches. “I suppose you didn’t eat dinner if you’re asking me that.”

“Yeah. I wasn’t hungry so I guess I just forgot.” Zuko said with his eyes at his feet, his posture stiff and uncomfortable.

Ursa sat her book down and walked over to her son. She wouldn’t be a mother if she couldn’t tell when something was up with her child. She’d seen him like this countless times before.

“What’s going on with you today, my love?” She asked, patting down the back of his hair.

There was a short pause, “Its just what Dad said today.” He said.

“What about it? You seemed excited about it this morning, did something happen?”

He stepped away and turned towards her. His expression hardened, “I was…but I thought about it more and I realized I never thought I’d be in this position. My whole life I imagined this would be Azula’s moment. I know its just a temporary position and it basically means I’m just babysitting the palace while he’s gone but…I never thought he’d trust me to even do _that_.”

Ursa frowned as she thought about how tough it had been for him growing up, having expectations that reached the sky since the moment he was born. Zuko grew up swimming against the tides for Ozai’s approval as he hadn’t been a natural fire-bender that his father had hoped for. In fact, when he was born rumors had circled around that he wouldn’t be a bender at all. Being a late bloomer had set him back so much and had always continuously come back to bite him since he was not as naturally talented as his sister. This was something that had ate away at him his whole life.

“Honey…your father is very strict, and he’s had to be because of his position. Unfortunately, that’s something you’ve had to experience firsthand. I know its hard to believe but I promise you Zuko, your father is proud of you and how far you’ve come.”

Her son’s gaze rose from his feet and met hers, “You think so?”

“I _know_ so. You had a rough start, but you’ve shown that you can achieve anything through hard work. It built your character and shaped who you are. Look at you now, a powerful bender who had countless obstacles thrown at him. There’s no luck in that and it proves your determination to succeed. You’re the role model for every young Fire Nation kid unsure of themselves.” She pulled him in for a hug.

“But what if I mess up? He’ll never trust me again.” He mumbled into her shoulder. She could feel his body shake in her arms.

“Zuko. Don’t doubt write yourself off so quickly.” Ursa’s heart broke for him, “Why don’t you go down to the infirmary and they’ll give you your medicine.” She knew that just her words weren’t enough to avoid his upcoming episode.

“That’s still private, right?” he pulled away from her.

“Yes, the only people who know are you, me, and the doctor. Don’t worry.” She gave him a small, reassuring smile, “and remember, I love you…Fire Lord Zuko or not.”

There was a glimpse of relief in Zuko’s expression, but he simply nodded before heading towards the doorway and disappearing into the hallways. Ursa let out a sigh, wishing she could do more for him. Letting him become so anxious was something she felt at fault for. As a mother, she felt as if she hadn’t protected his heart enough.


End file.
